The Chronicle of Saya, Part 1: Pregnancy's End
I thought I should spend a few posts to chronicle Saya's delivery and her first few days of life.
The beginning of the end of Ashlyn's pregnancy started on Wednesday, July 23rd, four days from Saya's due date.
Ash and I spent the previous couple weeks making sure we were prepared for her arrival. I was paranoid. Any time I got a call from Ashlyn, the first words from my lips were "Is it time?"
On the 23rd, I had gone to work as usual, and Ashlyn had worked like a madwoman from home. It was pretty ordinary, but Ash had a premonition that Saya would come soon. So, at 11:30pm she sent me on a Safeway run to get a few supplies in case anything did happen. Here was her list:
I was sooo doing self-checkout.
Unfortunately, Safeway turns off the self-checkout aisles at night. I spotted this as I walked in. Crap. I spent most of my shopping run trying to think up excuses for why I had such an "unusual" basket of goodies. I would have to defuse any awkwardness between me and the cashier with some casual and witty remark, sheepish but not overly self-conscious.
I filled up my basket, hiding the enema kit as deep as possible... the girly magazines were an obvious camouflage, but would advertise "weirdo comin' through" to anyone who would chance upon my payload. I decided to buy a few more Gatorades to make a little fort. I observe that late at night, most Safeway employees are around restocking the shelves... and I'm sure they gossip about the customers. Maybe I'll get a couple more Gatorades.
There was only one checkout line open. The cashier was handling a group of about 10 babbling high school students. I tried to look inconspicuous. I'm not sure if it was the cashier, or maybe my anxiety made me move in Matrix bullet time. But that line moved like molasses. A queue built up behind me. This added another "basket positioning" element to my dilemma -- in front of me, or behind me?
I was nearing checkout, when I got a call from Ash -- "I'm afraid of hemorrhoids after the delivery. Could you get me hemorrhoid pads too?"
The beginning of the end of Ashlyn's pregnancy started on Wednesday, July 23rd, four days from Saya's due date.
Ash and I spent the previous couple weeks making sure we were prepared for her arrival. I was paranoid. Any time I got a call from Ashlyn, the first words from my lips were "Is it time?"
On the 23rd, I had gone to work as usual, and Ashlyn had worked like a madwoman from home. It was pretty ordinary, but Ash had a premonition that Saya would come soon. So, at 11:30pm she sent me on a Safeway run to get a few supplies in case anything did happen. Here was her list:
- Gatorade (gotta keep hydrated)
- Snacks (because I'd inevitably get ravenous during a multi-day labor)
- Trashy and girly magazines (to distract her from the labor pains)
- Enema kit (she was afraid that she'd poop on the delivery table)
I was sooo doing self-checkout.
Unfortunately, Safeway turns off the self-checkout aisles at night. I spotted this as I walked in. Crap. I spent most of my shopping run trying to think up excuses for why I had such an "unusual" basket of goodies. I would have to defuse any awkwardness between me and the cashier with some casual and witty remark, sheepish but not overly self-conscious.
I filled up my basket, hiding the enema kit as deep as possible... the girly magazines were an obvious camouflage, but would advertise "weirdo comin' through" to anyone who would chance upon my payload. I decided to buy a few more Gatorades to make a little fort. I observe that late at night, most Safeway employees are around restocking the shelves... and I'm sure they gossip about the customers. Maybe I'll get a couple more Gatorades.
There was only one checkout line open. The cashier was handling a group of about 10 babbling high school students. I tried to look inconspicuous. I'm not sure if it was the cashier, or maybe my anxiety made me move in Matrix bullet time. But that line moved like molasses. A queue built up behind me. This added another "basket positioning" element to my dilemma -- in front of me, or behind me?
I was nearing checkout, when I got a call from Ash -- "I'm afraid of hemorrhoids after the delivery. Could you get me hemorrhoid pads too?"
Lovin' every word of it. I am sure that the cashier thought you had a lot of bathroom time ahead of you. I can see it now:
"Ya, I am INTO this...for the long haul!!"
Posted by
Dave Suss |
July 27, 2008 at 9:43 PM
Just remember, there's no shame in asking People Magazine for money in exchange for baby pictures.
http://www.someecards.com/upload/baby_n/just_curious_if_youd_like_to_pay_me_tens.html
Posted by
Anonymous |
July 28, 2008 at 4:59 PM
ha ha that story is hilarious!
Posted by
Maryn |
July 29, 2008 at 8:04 AM