To Shave, Wax or Electrocute, or Not to Shave, Wax or Electrocute? That is the Question.
Ideally, the hapa spawn of Asian-Caucasian intermarriage benefit from the "best of both worlds": from the Asian side, beautiful skin (free of acne and wrinkles, and prone to getting a glowing tan without burning) and a body free of unwanted hair...from the Caucasian side, good eyesight and boobs that are bigger than the average Asian woman's.
This is what happened to me: None of the above. Whoops!
A trip to Hawaii involves seeing hapa spawn who do have the "best of both worlds" and also dealing with the fact that I am wearing a bikini, highlighting the issues of (1) not being able to tan without burning and (2) unwanted body hair. Thankfully, the issue of (3) small boobs is temporarily not applicable to me because I'm breastfeeding. Which creates the separate issue of (4) bigger, yet grosser boobs.
Let me tell you a little bit about unwanted body hair. For some people, it is not a big deal. I am not one of those people. I feel like I should not have any body hair, because hello, I'm Asian, remember? Much of my youth was dedicated to shaving, waxing and plucking. If you ever have a question about body hair, I can answer it. I know pretty much everything there is to know about how to treat different types of body hair problems, which methods work, and which don't, and why. (Unfortunately, my strong methods knowledge does not apply to my policy research). Here is my unsolicited advice:
1. Don't buy "sugar creams" or any form of green goop called Nad's (for example) from an infomercial. I'm not saying I've done this. I'm also not saying that I've ever sat for hours enthralled by an infomercial on hair removal, convinced that it could transform my life. But I happen to have insider information that the stuff doesn't work, hurts to use, and that it's a huge pain to un-enroll in the automatic shipping of the stuff every two months.
2. Don't use depilatories on sensitive parts. I'm not saying I've done this, but maybe it burns. Especially on your sensitive parts.
3. Don't shave your stomach. I'm not saying I've done this. What I am saying is that it just isn't a long-term solution.
4. Don't spend $2,000 on laser hair removal for your bikini and $400 on laser hair removal for your armpits. I'm not saying I've done this (I'm just throwing out random numbers here, people!) but I am saying that it might be slightly disappointing to spend that kind of money and then be told that, oh by the way, only 80% of the hair is really removed, so you still need to keep shaving. Or just pay again and go through the process again.
5. Don't do electrolysis on sensitive parts because it can leave a temporary scar for, say, 9 months. I'm not saying that this has ever happened to me. What I am saying is that I may be a bitter woman.
6. Don't get pregnant, because then your body hair really gets out of control. I'm not saying that this has happened to me. What I am saying is that, even five months post-partum, there may still be a small forest on your stomach. And if you should so happen to go to Hawaii, you may need to ask the important question of what to do with that hair. Shave? Wax? Electrocute? Just let it be? I may know someone who just decided to let it be. And then that someone sighed a big OH WELL.
Here is what that someone then decided to do: chop off all the hair on her head. You likey?
Yes, this is an asymmetrical bob. And yes, I am trying to channel Posh Spice, even though I sort of hate her. Don't judge me. I would never judge you for obsessing over your body hair issues.
This is what happened to me: None of the above. Whoops!
A trip to Hawaii involves seeing hapa spawn who do have the "best of both worlds" and also dealing with the fact that I am wearing a bikini, highlighting the issues of (1) not being able to tan without burning and (2) unwanted body hair. Thankfully, the issue of (3) small boobs is temporarily not applicable to me because I'm breastfeeding. Which creates the separate issue of (4) bigger, yet grosser boobs.
Let me tell you a little bit about unwanted body hair. For some people, it is not a big deal. I am not one of those people. I feel like I should not have any body hair, because hello, I'm Asian, remember? Much of my youth was dedicated to shaving, waxing and plucking. If you ever have a question about body hair, I can answer it. I know pretty much everything there is to know about how to treat different types of body hair problems, which methods work, and which don't, and why. (Unfortunately, my strong methods knowledge does not apply to my policy research). Here is my unsolicited advice:
1. Don't buy "sugar creams" or any form of green goop called Nad's (for example) from an infomercial. I'm not saying I've done this. I'm also not saying that I've ever sat for hours enthralled by an infomercial on hair removal, convinced that it could transform my life. But I happen to have insider information that the stuff doesn't work, hurts to use, and that it's a huge pain to un-enroll in the automatic shipping of the stuff every two months.
2. Don't use depilatories on sensitive parts. I'm not saying I've done this, but maybe it burns. Especially on your sensitive parts.
3. Don't shave your stomach. I'm not saying I've done this. What I am saying is that it just isn't a long-term solution.
4. Don't spend $2,000 on laser hair removal for your bikini and $400 on laser hair removal for your armpits. I'm not saying I've done this (I'm just throwing out random numbers here, people!) but I am saying that it might be slightly disappointing to spend that kind of money and then be told that, oh by the way, only 80% of the hair is really removed, so you still need to keep shaving. Or just pay again and go through the process again.
5. Don't do electrolysis on sensitive parts because it can leave a temporary scar for, say, 9 months. I'm not saying that this has ever happened to me. What I am saying is that I may be a bitter woman.
6. Don't get pregnant, because then your body hair really gets out of control. I'm not saying that this has happened to me. What I am saying is that, even five months post-partum, there may still be a small forest on your stomach. And if you should so happen to go to Hawaii, you may need to ask the important question of what to do with that hair. Shave? Wax? Electrocute? Just let it be? I may know someone who just decided to let it be. And then that someone sighed a big OH WELL.
Here is what that someone then decided to do: chop off all the hair on her head. You likey?
Yes, this is an asymmetrical bob. And yes, I am trying to channel Posh Spice, even though I sort of hate her. Don't judge me. I would never judge you for obsessing over your body hair issues.
