The Heusens

It.

Is.

Done.

I just submitted the R&R. And it feels SO. SO. GOOD.

I just did it now (3 hours past the deadline of midnight EST), but I let myself have a PST deadline instead because of last night's little peanut episode with our little peanut.

I am awaiting your gifts. They can be sent to me at:

SPEA 410D
1315 E. Tenth St.
Bloomington, IN 47405

Posted by Ashlyn at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

It is day 4 of the challenge. And we are falling apart.

This week has been high drama. Lots of sickness (first Saya, then me)...then tonight: our first trip to the emergency room with Saya.

We were eating dinner tonight at a local diner and decided to order Saya her first peanut butter & jelly sandwich. We thought she would enjoy it.

We've heard a LOT of conflicting advice on what kids should/should not eat in the first year of life. There seem to be a lot of scary nut allergies out there, so some pediatricians say not to introduce peanuts until after the first year. Others claim that the risk of a severe peanut allergy increases if kids are NOT exposed to them, so to introduce them earlier, in small amounts.

At six months or so--and WITH our pediatrician's blessing--we started to give peanuts to Saya in really negligible amounts. We figured it would be fine because we don't have a family history of nut allergies. She's definitely been exposed to peanuts and eaten ground peanuts (in things like Pad Thai, for example) and always been fine.

After eating maybe 1/4 of this sandwich, Kris and I noticed Saya was rubbing her eyes a lot and that her face looked kind of pink. I took her into the bathroom to wash her hands and face, and noticed that her face and neck were becoming redder and splotchier by the second.

I told Kris to grab the bill. In the 2-3 minutes it took him to pay, Saya broke out into full-on hives all over her face, neck, ears, scalp and chest. I thought we should take her to an urgent care clinic if it didn't get better in a few minutes.

In literally then next 2 minutes, Saya's eyes were nearly swollen shut. I felt a sense of rising panic and we started running to the car. I got her into the carseat as fast as possible as we yelled at each other to find the nearest emergency room on our iPhones.

Kris started driving the 3 minutes it took us to get there. In the meantime, Saya sort of fell asleep all of a sudden...out of nowhere. I shook her a little to wake her up, but she barely stirred. I could hear her breathing so I knew her airways weren't shut. But I was afraid her body was shutting down.

I screamed "Saya! Saya! Saya!" and tried to wake her up, but she barely opened her eyes. At this point, her eyes were so swollen that i could see the tissue from the inside of her eye socket puffing out over her eyeball.

This is the point where I lost my sh*t. I seriously don't think I've ever panicked like this, but at this point, I actually feared for her life. I was screaming and crying.

We finally got to the ER doors and I ran in, sobbing "HELP MY BABY!"

The Indiana folks seemed slow. They were like, "What's her last name?" It was maddening.

At any rate, the nurses and doctors helped pretty quickly. After they determined that her heart rate was okay and her breathing was fine, they decided to give her an IV pretty quickly. They wrapped poor Saya into a baby straightjacket thing and tried to find a vein in one arm...no luck. They finally got a line in her other arm. It was heartbreaking. She's so tiny and the needle looked so big, and she looked so helpless and miserable.

They gave her benadryl and some steroids intravenously, which she hated. She cried so hard, she threw up all over me...all down the front of my dress (and yes, into my bra)...and then fell asleep in my arms.

I cradled her for two hours as I gradually watched the swelling go down around my baby's face, while sitting in a pool of vomit. After an hour or so, she seemed to be sleeping comfortably, and just a little upset about the IV. We were finally cleared to go after she looked almost like herself again (except for some puffy eye stuff).

You can't really see all the horrors of the hives and the eyeball swell in this grainy iPhone shot, but this is right before she got the IV:


Obviously, we were shocked that this happened. The ER doc told us that sometimes babies DEVELOP allergies after repeated exposure to things, and can also develop allergies out of the blue. It just seems very weird, especially considering that she just ate pineapple fried rice (with peanuts) last week with us and was totally fine. The doc also told us that her allergies can worsen with repeat exposure, to the point where a subsequent episode can be life-threatening. (Oh, and apparently the falling asleep in the car thing was just her body's way of coping.)

A nurse was kind enough to give me a pair of scrubs to change into. I stripped down behind the curtain, soaped myself up in the sink, and dumped my vomit-laden bra and dress into a bag. We hit the road.

At home, Saya seemed like herself. After a bath, she ate a big meal and was laughing and smiling all over again. We read some books and she fell asleep around 11 p.m. like nothing ever happened. Kris and I spent some time in bed looking at her like we couldn't imagine our lives without her.

So. Is that enough drama for one day?

In other news. I was in a seminar all day so I barely got any work done. And as for Daphna? She heard my story, offered to send me some Israeli pickles in hummus, and then promised she would try to eat some crabcakes in July, after I learned that (horrifyingly) she does not eat fish.

On the next episode of D&A's BFD: Despite the last-minute setbacks, will they make it? Will they?

Posted by Ashlyn at 10:36 PM | Permalink | Comments

After the self-flagellation that was last night, Daphna and I decided to wake up at 5 a.m. this morning.

Daphna did.

Are you impressed? That is 2 a.m. for you west coasties.

I logged in around 5:30, bleary-eyed and feeling like crap.

Daphna rocked it out. After the first hour, she'd done a bunch of paper re-structuring. I, on the other hand, had barely managed to write out a few maybe-didn't-make-so-much-sense sentences while slurping Theraflu (this is also after having a really hard time falling asleep, then Kris waking me up when he came to bed at 1 a.m., then needing to drink more Theraflu, then Saya waking up at 2:30 a.m. for a long time, then sleeping in bed with us and kicking and pinching me).

After the first hour, I checked in with Daphna and pretended that I was gung ho about doing a second hour of writing. But really, about ten minutes into it, I fell asleep...and woke up at 8:15ish. Whoops.

Daphna, on the other hand...she deserves a big shiny scratch and sniff sticker! She wrote for ALL THREE HOURS before rewarding herself with a brief nap, and was back at it by 11 a.m. Whoa.

I worked for a bit longer after I woke up (2-3 hours) and then got stuck in meetings all day...then came home and napped...and took medicine...I think I am really sick. My throat hurts really really bad, and now my sinuses and ears are all blocked up. BUT. I think I'm still on track to finish on time.

The bottom line is that Daphna has been motivated all day long by Nicole's promise to send her Auntie Cockroach if she finishes her revisions. Daphna is worried she won't get them done in time, as evidenced by our chat:

i am very worried i won't finish because i want that book BAD!

We shall see whether Daphna's reign of productivity continues.

On the next episode of D&A's BFD: Will Daphna win the right to claim Auntie Cockroach for her own? Or will the single copy of the book taunt her on Amazon?

Posted by Ashlyn at 7:30 PM | Permalink | Comments

I have been told that I attract crazy people into my life. And I agree, I do have many crazy stories about crazy interactions with crazy people. But I swear, like 90% is circumstantial. (And most of the crazies are in my family anyway. For example, did your grandmother recently self-publish a book like this one? Mine ACTUALLY did.)

Anyway, living in Indiana does not mean no crazies. Today, while staying home sick and attempting to write write write, the cleaning lady showed up at the house. I thought she'd forgotten to come because she arrived so late (otherwise I would've gone in to work). I'd heard she was chatty (my colleague mentioned that she feels forced to engage this woman in a one-hour chat session every time she cleans).

Man, was I in for it. Contrary to what you might think, I actually did not want to engage this woman in conversation. Because I downloaded Cool Timer (per Daphna's suggestion) and was trying to time myself to do six hours of writing today.

I didn't have a choice. I talked to this woman (or rather, she talked at me) for two hours. I had no means of escape. Kris had the car, and because we now live in a subdivision, I couldn't, for example, just walk to the nearest Starbucks. I was stuck. Not only that: she followed me from room to room and kept initiating conversation. And this is in spite of me telling her "I have a lot of work to do" and "I'm really sick". She would at points grab my arm when I tried to disengage and say, "Listen! Listen!"

This woman is very nice, and also insane (and is also missing one of her incisors!). Here are highlights from our conversation, which was basically like a stream-of-consciousness rant for two hours with an insane number of casual asides:

1. "My stepdad was just awful, like he killed my little brother and didn't ever go to jail for it." Uhhh...come again? The thing is, she mentioned this as casually as you might mention that you ate hamburgers last night for dinner. And then just kept talking, never referring to it again.
2. She also referred more than once to this one awful thing she did in her past that "makes her feel sick to her stomach."
3. She also told me that the Klan (yes, THAT Klan) is alive and well in Indiana (this is actually true and I've heard it before from people). And that she hates prejudice, but god "laid his hand on her" and "cautioned her against being prejudiced toward the Klan."
4. And then went on a long rant about how the Klan believes that whites are superior because they are descended from Abel, while god put a dark mark on Cain, who was the ancestor of non-whites...or something...and then told me (as if she was all enlightened) "but these Klansmen don't even think about the fact that Cain and Abel were probably black, so the mark coulda been WHITE!" I was like, "Or, maybe not every single person in the world is descended from Cain and Abel, who maybe didn't exist, and also: maybe there is no such thing as this mark."
5. Also how her husband shot a deer but didn't totally kill it so she cradled it in her arms as it was dying and started crying when it went into convulsions...and how she had to sing to herself so she didn't hear her husband clubbing it to death.
6. Also how every woman in her family has been cursed with having their first born son die, except for her...because she "spoke the word of god into truth" that it would not happen to her...then changed her name from Susanna to Levi...so then even though her son was born 2 1/2 months early...with severe medical issues...he didn't die.

All this is to say that, well, today wasn't as productive as we'd hoped.

It started out well. Daphna and I worked steadily until noon, at which point I'd completed three hours of writing.

I only had a minor backslide, when I IM'd Daphna and asked:
Is it gross to eat an entire log of goat cheese in one sitting?

I felt better when I read Daphna's response:
Answer: Goat cheese is from the heavens.

I also experimented with gum, and sadly, it wasn't that helpful.

Then Levi showed up...and Daphna disappeared. Like, I couldn't find her at all online. And it killed my motivation to not have a check-in person.

I got this cryptic message later:
yo.

Posted by Ashlyn at 7:30 PM | Permalink | Comments

On this first episode of "Bribes...Food...Deadlines" (BFD):

First, let me thank Maryn, Michelle and Anita for offering gifts if we finish our revisions. This is like high stakes testing now. I feel so motivated!

So, how did it go today?

Let's see. This morning, it appeared that all forces were conspiring against the R&R. You will probably think I'm making this up, but I swear, this is what ACTUALLY happened:

1. Major thunderstorm last night: thunder, lightening, the works.
2. Electricity went out.
3. Alarm didn't go off.
4. Woke up at 8 a.m. (instead of 7 a.m.). It was still pitch black outside and raining cats and dogs.
   
5. Briefly panicked that I wouldn't be able to get to the office by 9 a.m. to IM Daphna and start the work session.
6. Saya poo explosion. She rarely has one of these. It was so crazy, I was confused at first (plus I wasn't yet wearing my contacts). I was like, "what is this brown goop on her leg?" and stuck my finger into it. Oops.
7. Poo is everywhere. Including on the lid of my Advil container, like two feet away. I don't know how that happened. It was gross. In my previous (i.e., pre-Saya) life, I would have probably disposed of a feces-covered canister of Advil. Now I just use a wipe and call it a day.
   
8. We finally make it into the car at around 9 a.m.
9. Crazy traffic because the bypass flooded.
10. Drive through Starbucks.
11. Drop by Saya's daycare. I realize there are actually two brown spots on my jeans (coffee? poo? some ubiquitous midwestern mulch?) but I don't care. It's time for R&R.
12. I go into the office anyway, and IM Daphna at approximately 9:30ish.
    

Poor Daphna spent the day revising an IES budget while trying to fit in and prioritize her R&R. And yes, there was a tear (or two) spilled.

My goal: spend three hours and revise a portion of the literature review. Done, done, and done! (My day was also sucked up into meetings and such, so getting three hours of solid writing time in was a big deal...for me.) Kris was kind enough to pick up Saya from daycare so I could have a bit more writing time.

This is how pathetic I am: I called Kris to inform him I'd done a whole three hours of writing (as in, the same thing he does every single day, except twice) and that I now deserved a giant steak.

Similarly, Daphna informed hubby Mike that he was to get steak and asparagus and bring them to her. On a platter.

My reward was the most delicious 28-oz. medium-rare Porterhouse steak imaginable at Janko's Little Zagreb. Porterhouses are fast becoming my favorite cut: you get ribeye PLUS filet, and a fun little bone in the middle (that's what she said). Yay!

I was feeling like crap by the end of the day (I got super sick over the weekend, possibly from eating a gross restaurant, but more likely from Saya's daycare), and was starting to seriously feel terrible, but the steak was so good, it cured me. Yes! Steak is magical! And it was all the more sweet since I felt like I earned it.

On the next episode of D&A's BFD: Will Daphna be forced to learn multiple imputation? Will Ashlyn adequately review the literature on residential sorting and race? How many packs of gum will be consumed? And what will happen to their hygiene?

Posted by Ashlyn at 7:07 PM | Permalink | Comments

Friends.

This letter is about accountability. Would you say that the two people in the above photo need help?

I should say so.

Lurking behind the maniacal grins and toothsomeness lie two minds devastated by the phenomena of procrastination, fear, YouTube and Facebook. Can they overcome these challenges?

Over the course of the next week, please join us for a reality show, blog-style: Daphna and Ashlyn submit Revise & Re-submits.

Not sexy sounding enough for you? Do not doubt. There will be sweat. There will (maybe) be tears. There will be late-night binging. There will be hysteria, and possible domestic disputes. And, at the end, there will be sweet victory.

And it will all be documented for your pleasure.

Starting tomorrow, we will begin the writing processes for our revise & re-submits. And we will hammer away. Please, keep us accountable. We will be setting daily goals and reaping daily rewards.

Some rewards will be sent to each other. But we also welcome your rewards, which can be sent to us as (1) words of encouragement, (2) food, or (3) other expensive things.

In other words, if you are at all interested in bribing us to do things that are purely in our own self-interest, please do so.

Rules:

1. Daphna and Ashlyn MUST submit their R&Rs by midnight EST on Friday, June 26th.
2. Please leave a comment if you plan to give us a reward for succeeding in our mission. If we do NOT succeed in our mission, we will send the reward to YOU.
   

Posted by Ashlyn at 8:53 PM | Permalink | Comments