Some People are Rude and Bossy
That goes without saying. When I got pregnant, lots of people told me that I was entering the world of Invasion of Privacy and Unsolicited Advice. I was warned that random people - people I did not know, people on the street, people at the grocery store, etc. - would start to interact with us on a level that I was unprepared for.
First, I was warned that random strangers would attempt to touch or rub my pregnant belly. But I managed to go the entire pregnancy without this happening. I thought that perhaps the rumors of People Getting In My Business were exaggerated.
In fact, the most awkward pregnant moment I ever encountered happened before I ever got pregnant. It was almost four years ago. I was in an elevator with a senior vice president of the bank I was working with. He looked me up and down and then said, "You're putting on a little weight!" Horrified, I said nothing. Then he leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Are you pregnant?" I had no idea how to respond to this and could only mumble an embarrassed no (of course, after this, I spent the entire afternoon seething in my cubicle and thinking of better comebacks). It was completely, over-the-top inappropriate. I managed to not take this totally personally, because he had a history of being inappropriate (like the time he commented on a photo of my friend and said that he was "too dark" to be Chinese). Also, he was new to the States so I gave him some leeway for not knowing the cultural tact norms.
During pregnancy, I had two awkward encounters but they weren't as overt. Incident Number One happened while I was five months pregnant. I was planning a baby shower for Gayle and decided to make a cake out of diapers (before you judge, click the link). I went to Target to buy a big box of diapers. As I walked through the aisles, I noticed two high schoolish girls eyeing my belly. Then I heard one of them whisper to the other:
"Todavia esta gordita"
which translates into this:
"She's still fat."
I realized with horror that they thought that I was buying diapers for my own baby - and that I was still rockin' a big belly, several months post partum. By the time I recovered enough to think of screaming "I'm 5 months pregnant and I understand Spanish!" they were gone.
That same month, I was standing in line to buy lunch on campus. I was super hungry and loaded up on a giant salad, a soda, a water, a banana, a bag of chips, and a chocolate chip cookie. A very old man got in line behind me, looked scornfully at my lunch, and then pointedly fixed his eyes on my bulging belly. "Are you SURE you want to eat ALL that FOOD?" he growled. I realized that he thought he was being helpful and needed to comment on my deteriorating figure. Because he was old, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and responded lamely, "I'm hungry."
Still, these stories hardly compare to the horrors that others have described. While pregnant, I felt that the world smiled upon me. People were exceptionally nice. And then we had the baby, and we became Just Another Couple With an Annoying Baby (I'm sure the feeling will be amplified the first time we attempt to board an airplane).
It also appears that actually having a baby in your possession (rather than gestating in your belly) provides some Rude and Bossy People with an uncontrollable urge to provide unsolicited advice. We had our first incident with a Rude and Bossy Person today.
To escape the heat in our un-air conditioned apartment, we packed up the baby and took our work to Peet's Coffee. When Saya began fussing, Kris volunteered to take her outside and walk around with her. And there she was, standing on the corner: Little Miss Bossy (in the form of a middle-aged woman).
This is what Little Miss Bossy says to Kris: "You should support her head more when you hold her, you know." Then she reaches over, grabs Kris' hand and puts it on the back of Saya's head. "See? Like this!"
Little Miss Bossy gives Kris a concerned look. Kris realizes she thinks he is irresponsibly watching someone else's baby. He realizes this because Little Miss Bossy's next question is this:
"Are YOU the father?"
Kris tells her yes.
"Where is the MOTHER?"
Kris gestures to the Peet's Coffee, two feet away.
More concerned frowning from Little Miss Bossy.
"How OLD is this mother?"
Kris tells her that I am 27.
"Well how old are YOU?"
Kris tells her that he is also 27.
"WELL, YOU LOOK SO YOUNG!"
And Little Miss Bossy walks away.
First, I was warned that random strangers would attempt to touch or rub my pregnant belly. But I managed to go the entire pregnancy without this happening. I thought that perhaps the rumors of People Getting In My Business were exaggerated.
In fact, the most awkward pregnant moment I ever encountered happened before I ever got pregnant. It was almost four years ago. I was in an elevator with a senior vice president of the bank I was working with. He looked me up and down and then said, "You're putting on a little weight!" Horrified, I said nothing. Then he leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Are you pregnant?" I had no idea how to respond to this and could only mumble an embarrassed no (of course, after this, I spent the entire afternoon seething in my cubicle and thinking of better comebacks). It was completely, over-the-top inappropriate. I managed to not take this totally personally, because he had a history of being inappropriate (like the time he commented on a photo of my friend and said that he was "too dark" to be Chinese). Also, he was new to the States so I gave him some leeway for not knowing the cultural tact norms.
During pregnancy, I had two awkward encounters but they weren't as overt. Incident Number One happened while I was five months pregnant. I was planning a baby shower for Gayle and decided to make a cake out of diapers (before you judge, click the link). I went to Target to buy a big box of diapers. As I walked through the aisles, I noticed two high schoolish girls eyeing my belly. Then I heard one of them whisper to the other:
"Todavia esta gordita"
which translates into this:
"She's still fat."
I realized with horror that they thought that I was buying diapers for my own baby - and that I was still rockin' a big belly, several months post partum. By the time I recovered enough to think of screaming "I'm 5 months pregnant and I understand Spanish!" they were gone.
That same month, I was standing in line to buy lunch on campus. I was super hungry and loaded up on a giant salad, a soda, a water, a banana, a bag of chips, and a chocolate chip cookie. A very old man got in line behind me, looked scornfully at my lunch, and then pointedly fixed his eyes on my bulging belly. "Are you SURE you want to eat ALL that FOOD?" he growled. I realized that he thought he was being helpful and needed to comment on my deteriorating figure. Because he was old, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and responded lamely, "I'm hungry."
Still, these stories hardly compare to the horrors that others have described. While pregnant, I felt that the world smiled upon me. People were exceptionally nice. And then we had the baby, and we became Just Another Couple With an Annoying Baby (I'm sure the feeling will be amplified the first time we attempt to board an airplane).
It also appears that actually having a baby in your possession (rather than gestating in your belly) provides some Rude and Bossy People with an uncontrollable urge to provide unsolicited advice. We had our first incident with a Rude and Bossy Person today.
To escape the heat in our un-air conditioned apartment, we packed up the baby and took our work to Peet's Coffee. When Saya began fussing, Kris volunteered to take her outside and walk around with her. And there she was, standing on the corner: Little Miss Bossy (in the form of a middle-aged woman).
This is what Little Miss Bossy says to Kris: "You should support her head more when you hold her, you know." Then she reaches over, grabs Kris' hand and puts it on the back of Saya's head. "See? Like this!"
Little Miss Bossy gives Kris a concerned look. Kris realizes she thinks he is irresponsibly watching someone else's baby. He realizes this because Little Miss Bossy's next question is this:
"Are YOU the father?"
Kris tells her yes.
"Where is the MOTHER?"
Kris gestures to the Peet's Coffee, two feet away.
More concerned frowning from Little Miss Bossy.
"How OLD is this mother?"
Kris tells her that I am 27.
"Well how old are YOU?"
Kris tells her that he is also 27.
"WELL, YOU LOOK SO YOUNG!"
And Little Miss Bossy walks away.
Damn, Ash, did you make that diaper cake? Cause you are so right -- I judged, until I clicked the link. And then I was blown away!!!
Posted by
Nicole |
September 5, 2008 at 11:57 PM
No, I did not make that diaper cake! My diaper cake had less stuff on it and was more classy looking and therefore more fabulous :)
Posted by
Ashlyn |
September 6, 2008 at 12:53 AM
I can't believe that woman!! Well, I can believe it. When Catia was 2 months old I lost my sunglasses and had to go to Nordstroms to buy another pair. I fed Catia in the car before we went inside, burped her, changed her diaper...did everything I could to make sure she was comfortable. Well, of course she started fussing b/c SHE WAS 2 MONTHS OLD and babies DO THAT!!! and this idiot woman came over and said "you know, she's hungry - you should feed her." I couldn't help it b/c I was still stressed out and snapped back "Excuse me? Do you know me? I already fed her." And she said "well, maybe you didn't feed her enough." And positively pissed now I snapped "Well, you raise your kids your way and I'll raise mine my way. I feel like starving my baby so why don't you go report me to child services then. Mind your own business, you stupid bitch!" Ok, not my finest moment but she pissed me off. :)
I wish I could tell you it gets better, but esepcially b/c we're "younger" parents (whatever the hell that means) everyone's gonna come up to you and suggest this and that. Start thinking of some combacks!!
Posted by
Anonymous |
September 6, 2008 at 10:11 AM