Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween folks! In the Halloween spirit I'll be sharing some recent scary, spooky stories.
Poopless days. There's a certain creeping terror when you're heading to bed, and realize that Saya hasn't pooped all day. "Oh god... that means tomorrow I'm going to have to wash poopy clothes, sheets, blankets, car seats, strollers, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Sleep deprivation insanity. Just the other night, a frantic Ashlyn called me into the kitchen. "Am I going insane, or are the numbers on the microwave vibrating?" My thoughts: "I'm betting on insanity, but I'd better check this out." So we're staring at the LED clock on this microwave, waiting it for it to move. Nothing... nothing... "THERE! IT MOVED!" she says. I saw nothing. We stare and wait again for a few moments. "IT MOVED AGAIN!" "Uh... is everything ok, sweetie? Nothing happened."
I contemplate institutionalizing my wife as I endure a couple more rounds of this. Then I noticed a pattern. Every time Ash sees the elusive dancing numbers, I hear a crunching noise. She's taking bites from a crispy biscotti. "Try taking a bite of the biscotti," I say. She stares at the LEDs and takes a bite. Her face instantly flashes horror and embarrassment as she realizes the vibrating is perfectly in sync with her crunching.
We had a good laugh. We're kinda losing it over here.
Stalkers. Ashlyn has a friend Meg who was in grad school with her 6 years ago. She now lives in Menlo Park too, and our paths have randomly crossed a brazillion times. We'll see each other on the street, going to the same restaurant, next to each other at a stop light, at the BBC, etc. One of us is definitely a stalker.
McCain's campaign. Campaign = zombie. It keeps shuffling forward, on and on and on. Embarrasing VP interviews? Half of its head may be blown off, but it's still going. Suspending the campaign to deal with the financial crisis? Those legs may be gone, but it's still dragging itself along by its arms. McCain may be way behind in the polls, dragging a stumpy body along by its hands, but it's still trying to claw it's way through your window. Ayers! ACORN! Terrorist! Socialist! Brains! Brains!
UC Berkeley's bureaucracy. I was hired as a postdoc, and supposed to start my employment near the end of September. After not working all summer, these HR folks said they were absolutely swamped with paperwork for the new school year, and they were too busy to get me started until at least 10/15. The prof I'm working for told me, "You have to get yourself noticed over there. Bring them flowers." I laugh. He replies, "No seriously, I'll reimburse you".
So I brought both flowers and Saya to the HR office. I was thanked for the flowers... and then the entire office of around 10 people shut itself down to ogle and coo at Saya. The commotion brought in more admins from nearby offices. So suddenly about 20 people are crowded around Saya, pushing the stroller around the building, bouncing her, giggling at her. This continued for about 15 minutes as I filled out paperwork for a temporary assignment (signing me on as a full postdoc would just have to wait as more paperwork trickles through).
As I was wrapping things up, Saya started fussing. So I elbowed my way into the crowd as some lady was trying to soothe her. "She's hungry," the lady said. "Where's her bottle?" "It's in the car." "Let's go." So she followed me out to the car, carrying Saya the whole time. She sat down in the front seat and fed Saya. For 20 minutes.
I wonder how many employment forms, insurance benefits, and pay stubs didn't get filed because of Saya's little visit.
I don't think I'm officially a postdoc yet.
Trader Joe's pizza dough. It's a bag of gooey dough sittin' in a bag. Gross. (Makes a good pizza though)
I'll end this Halloween post in honor of my ol buddy Gaurav, who went to a 49ers game dressed as an Indian cricket Olympian (that's sort of a costume, right?), and made history at the half time show. His story is too awesome for words. Definitely worth the read. You rock G.
Poopless days. There's a certain creeping terror when you're heading to bed, and realize that Saya hasn't pooped all day. "Oh god... that means tomorrow I'm going to have to wash poopy clothes, sheets, blankets, car seats, strollers, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Sleep deprivation insanity. Just the other night, a frantic Ashlyn called me into the kitchen. "Am I going insane, or are the numbers on the microwave vibrating?" My thoughts: "I'm betting on insanity, but I'd better check this out." So we're staring at the LED clock on this microwave, waiting it for it to move. Nothing... nothing... "THERE! IT MOVED!" she says. I saw nothing. We stare and wait again for a few moments. "IT MOVED AGAIN!" "Uh... is everything ok, sweetie? Nothing happened."
I contemplate institutionalizing my wife as I endure a couple more rounds of this. Then I noticed a pattern. Every time Ash sees the elusive dancing numbers, I hear a crunching noise. She's taking bites from a crispy biscotti. "Try taking a bite of the biscotti," I say. She stares at the LEDs and takes a bite. Her face instantly flashes horror and embarrassment as she realizes the vibrating is perfectly in sync with her crunching.
We had a good laugh. We're kinda losing it over here.
Stalkers. Ashlyn has a friend Meg who was in grad school with her 6 years ago. She now lives in Menlo Park too, and our paths have randomly crossed a brazillion times. We'll see each other on the street, going to the same restaurant, next to each other at a stop light, at the BBC, etc. One of us is definitely a stalker.
McCain's campaign. Campaign = zombie. It keeps shuffling forward, on and on and on. Embarrasing VP interviews? Half of its head may be blown off, but it's still going. Suspending the campaign to deal with the financial crisis? Those legs may be gone, but it's still dragging itself along by its arms. McCain may be way behind in the polls, dragging a stumpy body along by its hands, but it's still trying to claw it's way through your window. Ayers! ACORN! Terrorist! Socialist! Brains! Brains!
UC Berkeley's bureaucracy. I was hired as a postdoc, and supposed to start my employment near the end of September. After not working all summer, these HR folks said they were absolutely swamped with paperwork for the new school year, and they were too busy to get me started until at least 10/15. The prof I'm working for told me, "You have to get yourself noticed over there. Bring them flowers." I laugh. He replies, "No seriously, I'll reimburse you".
So I brought both flowers and Saya to the HR office. I was thanked for the flowers... and then the entire office of around 10 people shut itself down to ogle and coo at Saya. The commotion brought in more admins from nearby offices. So suddenly about 20 people are crowded around Saya, pushing the stroller around the building, bouncing her, giggling at her. This continued for about 15 minutes as I filled out paperwork for a temporary assignment (signing me on as a full postdoc would just have to wait as more paperwork trickles through).
As I was wrapping things up, Saya started fussing. So I elbowed my way into the crowd as some lady was trying to soothe her. "She's hungry," the lady said. "Where's her bottle?" "It's in the car." "Let's go." So she followed me out to the car, carrying Saya the whole time. She sat down in the front seat and fed Saya. For 20 minutes.
I wonder how many employment forms, insurance benefits, and pay stubs didn't get filed because of Saya's little visit.
I don't think I'm officially a postdoc yet.
Trader Joe's pizza dough. It's a bag of gooey dough sittin' in a bag. Gross. (Makes a good pizza though)
I'll end this Halloween post in honor of my ol buddy Gaurav, who went to a 49ers game dressed as an Indian cricket Olympian (that's sort of a costume, right?), and made history at the half time show. His story is too awesome for words. Definitely worth the read. You rock G.
I read your friend's blog. OMG, that's the most hilarious thing I've heard in a looong time. Thanks for sharing that! And Ashlyn's vibrating microwave story - that's classic Ashlyn! And why we all love her. :)
Posted by
Mishy |
October 31, 2008 at 8:28 AM