Reflections on a Year of Hip Hop
I have become a wistful old bag of wind who walks around saying "These young kids today. They don't know what good hip hop and rap is. The last good year for hip hop was 1998. They knew what they were doing back then."
This is who I miss:
Tupac, Rakim, Goodie Mob, Dr. Dre, Shock G, Slick Rick, Ice Cube, Sugarhill Gang.
Jay-Z: Come out of your fake retirement. We need you. One of MY 99 problems is that you didn't come out with an album this year.
DMX: Stop abusing dogs and get back to rapping. We need you.
I miss the old days of hip hop and rap, where I got to hear a little story, it usually made sense, it actually rhymed, it sometimes raised my political consciousness, and it sometimes made me want to get crunk and hyphy. Who can argue that Ice Cube's Today Was a Good Day, Slick Rick's Children's Story, Tupac's Changes and Naughty by Nature's O.P.P. don't fit that bill? Even Vanilla Ice got it right. When Sugarhill Gang complains "Have you ever went over to a friend's house to eat, and the food just ain't no good...I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, and the chicken tastes like wood!?" I can totally empathize!
I don't know where hip hop took a wrong turn. At some point, some of the songs made less sense. (Even though Missy Elliott never made total sense, I always gave her a free pass because she is kind of insane. I remember seeing the video for I Can't Stand the Rain and thinking WHOA. She really didn't care what she looked like - she was dressed up like a California raisin for godssakes. I remember thinking it was the end of an era when she lost weight and started doing nudie shots in her videos.) Unfortunately, a lot of rappers (who are not anywhere as cool as Missy Elliott) took a cue from Miz Misdemeanor and started inserting a lot of nonsensical lyrics into their songs. I remember the first time I heard Timbaland's Luv 2 Luv U at a party in college. Why is it necessary to ramble nonsensicals like "the bird bird bird, the bird is the word?" Me no likey.
Was Timbaland the beginning of the downfall? I have to say that even though his stuff is catchy, the rhyming is just not up to par. Take, for example, his Promiscuous Girl lyrics:
Timbaland: "I could see you with my T-shirt on."
Nelly Furtado: "I could see you with nothing on."
Um, okay, it makes sense, but is it clever?
By the time I hit junior year of college, I sensed hip hop was on a decline. Nelly was super popular. I mean, he's very likable as a person. But ALL his songs sound the same. Not to mention that he lost a LOT of credibility with Grillz. Juvenile's stuff not only all sounded the same, but he didn't even try to rhyme. Just because you add the word "yeah" to the end of every single line of your song does not mean it rhymes. Dude. And Eminem got really popular too. I know many people think he is a lyrical poet. But I just found him annoying. To me, Eminem was just a whiny little kid who needed a good spanking and a time out.
Even Geto Boyz' Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta, while charming, did not make very much sense:
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta (Totally!)
Gettin voted into the white house (um, ok, maybe you're going for some political statement?)
Everything lookin good to the people of the world
But the mafia family is my boss (ok, you're preserving your ties, got it)
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin down
Like lettin a big drug shipment through (ok, i'm still with you...)
And send em to the poor community (okaaayyyy...)
So we can bust you know who (you've lost me. I don't know who "you know who" is. Sorry!)
Geto Boyz, you lost me at "you know who."
I felt like the arrival of Ludacris partially redeemed the hip hop scene. So adorable. With clever, legit rhymes. And funny too!
But then I saw this clip this year and I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw up. It was truly, well, ludicrous:
By the late nineties, Tupac and Biggie were gone, and the only people left in hip hop producing anything I liked were Jay-Z and Ludacris, pretty much. I liked stuff by the Neptunes and some stuff by Outkast, but thought Snoop had sold out. When Lil' Jon and Petey Pablo's Freak a Leak came out, I thought we'd hit an all-time low. I mean, seriously. Freak a Leak? And seriously. Lil' Jon? Since when was growling and not making sense considered a talent? (Granted, imitating him on Chappelle's show was genius).
Another low? Ying Yang twins' Shake it Like a Salt Shaker. Puh-lease. Don't tell me to shake it like something that has the word "shake" in the name! Here are some things that would be more clever to shake it like: an earthquake, a baby, a maraca. At least be clever like Andre 3000 and tell me to shake it like a polaroid picture.
Also, 50 Cent? Snore. Bo-ring!
And P-Diddy? Don't get me started. Although, to be fair, his recent "I am King" cologne commercials - where he is actually riding a waverunner in a tuxedo - have provided me with far more entertainment than I think he intended.
The other advent in rap/hip hop that kind of annoys me is the invention of totally over-the-top cultural references that you need to look up on urbandictionary.com. Take, for example, the term "superman dat ho." I can't just assume that Soulja Boy is ranting like a sweaty-toothed madman when he calls upon us to superman dat ho. Instead, I have to take it upon myself to search for the phrase on Urban Dictionary, and then acknowledge that there is a legit definition for the term, which is both ridiculous and elaborate, and which Soulja Boy probably made up himself. He is quite crafty, you know. You never know what goes on behind those stunna shades.
Another example of the over-the-top cultural inventions is ghost-riding the whip. I mean, come on! Under what state of the universe is ghost-riding the whip ever necessary? I actually had a dream the other night that I was sitting on a curb holding Saya when someone on the street started ghost-riding the whip, and I got super mad at him, and started yelling at him for being unsafe. Does it mean that hip hop these days does suck? Or does it just make me old?
And does it make me old if I can't pop, drop and lock it without my knees hurting?
Have we reached the bottom yet? Everytime I hear Lil' Wayne's Mrs. Officer, I think we have:
I said, Lady, what's your number?
She said 911.
Haaaaaaa.
The way he says haaaa is like he's kind of stoned and falling asleep, and maybe is a few cards shy of a full deck. It makes me depressed just listening to the poor quality of the song. It's not even catchy, and it's one of the most popular songs on the radio right now.
We need a hip hop revolution.
Do you feel me, 2009?
This is who I miss:
Tupac, Rakim, Goodie Mob, Dr. Dre, Shock G, Slick Rick, Ice Cube, Sugarhill Gang.
Jay-Z: Come out of your fake retirement. We need you. One of MY 99 problems is that you didn't come out with an album this year.
DMX: Stop abusing dogs and get back to rapping. We need you.
I miss the old days of hip hop and rap, where I got to hear a little story, it usually made sense, it actually rhymed, it sometimes raised my political consciousness, and it sometimes made me want to get crunk and hyphy. Who can argue that Ice Cube's Today Was a Good Day, Slick Rick's Children's Story, Tupac's Changes and Naughty by Nature's O.P.P. don't fit that bill? Even Vanilla Ice got it right. When Sugarhill Gang complains "Have you ever went over to a friend's house to eat, and the food just ain't no good...I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, and the chicken tastes like wood!?" I can totally empathize!
I don't know where hip hop took a wrong turn. At some point, some of the songs made less sense. (Even though Missy Elliott never made total sense, I always gave her a free pass because she is kind of insane. I remember seeing the video for I Can't Stand the Rain and thinking WHOA. She really didn't care what she looked like - she was dressed up like a California raisin for godssakes. I remember thinking it was the end of an era when she lost weight and started doing nudie shots in her videos.) Unfortunately, a lot of rappers (who are not anywhere as cool as Missy Elliott) took a cue from Miz Misdemeanor and started inserting a lot of nonsensical lyrics into their songs. I remember the first time I heard Timbaland's Luv 2 Luv U at a party in college. Why is it necessary to ramble nonsensicals like "the bird bird bird, the bird is the word?" Me no likey.
Was Timbaland the beginning of the downfall? I have to say that even though his stuff is catchy, the rhyming is just not up to par. Take, for example, his Promiscuous Girl lyrics:
Timbaland: "I could see you with my T-shirt on."
Nelly Furtado: "I could see you with nothing on."
Um, okay, it makes sense, but is it clever?
By the time I hit junior year of college, I sensed hip hop was on a decline. Nelly was super popular. I mean, he's very likable as a person. But ALL his songs sound the same. Not to mention that he lost a LOT of credibility with Grillz. Juvenile's stuff not only all sounded the same, but he didn't even try to rhyme. Just because you add the word "yeah" to the end of every single line of your song does not mean it rhymes. Dude. And Eminem got really popular too. I know many people think he is a lyrical poet. But I just found him annoying. To me, Eminem was just a whiny little kid who needed a good spanking and a time out.
Even Geto Boyz' Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta, while charming, did not make very much sense:
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta (Totally!)
Gettin voted into the white house (um, ok, maybe you're going for some political statement?)
Everything lookin good to the people of the world
But the mafia family is my boss (ok, you're preserving your ties, got it)
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin down
Like lettin a big drug shipment through (ok, i'm still with you...)
And send em to the poor community (okaaayyyy...)
So we can bust you know who (you've lost me. I don't know who "you know who" is. Sorry!)
Geto Boyz, you lost me at "you know who."
I felt like the arrival of Ludacris partially redeemed the hip hop scene. So adorable. With clever, legit rhymes. And funny too!
But then I saw this clip this year and I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw up. It was truly, well, ludicrous:
By the late nineties, Tupac and Biggie were gone, and the only people left in hip hop producing anything I liked were Jay-Z and Ludacris, pretty much. I liked stuff by the Neptunes and some stuff by Outkast, but thought Snoop had sold out. When Lil' Jon and Petey Pablo's Freak a Leak came out, I thought we'd hit an all-time low. I mean, seriously. Freak a Leak? And seriously. Lil' Jon? Since when was growling and not making sense considered a talent? (Granted, imitating him on Chappelle's show was genius).
Another low? Ying Yang twins' Shake it Like a Salt Shaker. Puh-lease. Don't tell me to shake it like something that has the word "shake" in the name! Here are some things that would be more clever to shake it like: an earthquake, a baby, a maraca. At least be clever like Andre 3000 and tell me to shake it like a polaroid picture.
Also, 50 Cent? Snore. Bo-ring!
And P-Diddy? Don't get me started. Although, to be fair, his recent "I am King" cologne commercials - where he is actually riding a waverunner in a tuxedo - have provided me with far more entertainment than I think he intended.
The other advent in rap/hip hop that kind of annoys me is the invention of totally over-the-top cultural references that you need to look up on urbandictionary.com. Take, for example, the term "superman dat ho." I can't just assume that Soulja Boy is ranting like a sweaty-toothed madman when he calls upon us to superman dat ho. Instead, I have to take it upon myself to search for the phrase on Urban Dictionary, and then acknowledge that there is a legit definition for the term, which is both ridiculous and elaborate, and which Soulja Boy probably made up himself. He is quite crafty, you know. You never know what goes on behind those stunna shades.
Another example of the over-the-top cultural inventions is ghost-riding the whip. I mean, come on! Under what state of the universe is ghost-riding the whip ever necessary? I actually had a dream the other night that I was sitting on a curb holding Saya when someone on the street started ghost-riding the whip, and I got super mad at him, and started yelling at him for being unsafe. Does it mean that hip hop these days does suck? Or does it just make me old?
And does it make me old if I can't pop, drop and lock it without my knees hurting?
Have we reached the bottom yet? Everytime I hear Lil' Wayne's Mrs. Officer, I think we have:
I said, Lady, what's your number?
She said 911.
Haaaaaaa.
The way he says haaaa is like he's kind of stoned and falling asleep, and maybe is a few cards shy of a full deck. It makes me depressed just listening to the poor quality of the song. It's not even catchy, and it's one of the most popular songs on the radio right now.
We need a hip hop revolution.
Do you feel me, 2009?
You lost me at "Even Vanilla Ice got it right."
And I actually kinda like Mrs Officer...
Posted by
Kris |
January 1, 2009 at 4:33 PM
Ha ha ha! Best blog post ever. Ash, whenever hip hop these days gets you down, just remember...in the words of Wyclef and The Rock (aka Dwayne Johnson the now ac-TOR), "IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! Cuz if you ain't sharin, people ain't carin'. Come up in the hood and then take everything you wearin!"
Posted by
Maryn |
January 2, 2009 at 10:15 AM
Andrew wishes me to convey his sympathies and agreement with your blog. Although an avid rock fan, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about during most of the blog, but I can apply the wisdom to the rock "scene" since grundge left us about 10 years ago. Excellent blog.
Posted by
Mishy |
January 2, 2009 at 6:50 PM
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/11/18/116-black-music-that-black-people-dont-listen-to-anymore/
Posted by
Nicole |
January 6, 2009 at 2:01 AM