Please Donate to the Kris Absentminded Fund
For the low low price of $750, you too can keep this man around for two days:
Last Monday, we were all set to drive Kris to the airport for his trip to Japan for an important robotics conference. Uncharacteristically, we were packed and ready to go on time. What could possibly go wrong?
I hear Kris say "Ohhh #$*#&@." His passport was expired. Um, oops.
Panic ensued. We spent the next hour or so researching how to get an emergency passport renewal. We finally found an expediter in San Francisco. For $450, we could get it renewed by Tuesday night...and for another $300, we could re-book his trip for Wednesday morning, allowing him enough time to get to Japan for two out of three presentations. He emailed another professor and arranged to have her present his first presentation.
Crisis averted...for the low low cost of $750. At least Kris got to stick around for two more days.
You may wonder whether this was a fluke. But no. This is AFTER Kris had booked his flight to arrive a day later than he was supposed to arrive (because god forbid we check our itinerary before shelling out a grand for an international flight) and then having to re-book, costing $100. Kris tried to argue that I shouldn't be upset about the $100 re-booking fee, because the earlier flight was $100 cheaper, making the re-booking fee a wash. Nevermind that we would have SAVED $100 if he'd just booked it on the correct day to begin with.
And nevermind that I asked him a few months ago whether his passport was still good, to which he responded "OF COURSE. THEY'RE GOOD FOR LIKE, FOREVER." After he found out his passport was, indeed, actually expired, he looked at me (as if he were the voice of reason) and said "But seriously, who would ever think that their passport is expired? I mean, it happens so infrequently, why would anyone actually remember to check it?" I try to keep calm in these instances and not remind him how I asked him about it, or remind him that 99% of the universe does, in fact, check their passport when booking international travel.
Thank god we cancelled our trip to Canada! I would've been livid if we'd shown up at the airport only to be told that we couldn't go on our vacation.
To be fair, I knew what I was signing up for when I married the man. He can sometimes be absentminded, and this needs to be figured into our household budget. His absentmindedness costs us at least $1,000 a year, sometimes more. I made peace with it early on, so incidents like this don't bother me too much...anymore. But believe me, I used to lose it when he did stuff like this. Like the time he "didn't realize" he hadn't been paid any of his summer salary (who does not realize they haven't been paid for several months!?!?!), and by the time he asked about it, he could no longer be paid, because the grant funding had run out.
The best part? This is the THIRD time an international conference trip has resulted in semi-disaster. One year, before we were married, he was supposed to go to Japan for a conference. He asked me to call him two hours before his 1 p.m. flight to wake him up (because god forbid we have an alarm clock). I reminded him that he was supposed to be AT the airport two hours before his flight, and that he needed to pack and get himself to the airport, so I advised him to wake up at 9 a.m.
I called him at 9 a.m. and my call went straight to voicemail. Hmmm. Maybe he was in the shower. I called again fifteen minutes later. No answer. I sent him an email.
By 10 a.m. I was panicking and turned into a full-on stalker, calling every five minutes. Finally, at 11 a.m., I got a panicked return call from Kris. His phone had died and he had just woken up. I started yelling that he was supposed to be at the airport, when he informed me that he had actually already missed his flight...he mis-read the flight time; his flight had already left. So he re-booked the flight (at a cost of several hundreds of dollars) and got to Japan in the nick of time the next day.
I thought he'd learned his lesson for the following year's trip to a conference in Barcelona. He made his flight without a hitch. But after the conference--and a night of drinking absinthe--he managed to leave his passport at the hotel and arrive at the Barcelona airport without it. A thousand dollars was shelled out to re-book the missed flight, and stay in Barcelona for a few extra days because he couldn't find an earlier flight.
Kris wonders why I'm such a control freak, but I use these three stories as justification for why all household administrative matters MUST be routed through and planned by me.
Yesterday, Kris returned from Japan. And yes, I managed to keep my cool as he recounted how he temporarily lost his laptop power cord, causing his computer to completely die, leaving him without an opportunity to practice his presentation, and then found the cord just in time for his presentation, which went okay despite a massive hangover. I also gracefully refrained from raising my voice as he told me how he left his hotel a mere two hours before his return flight from Japan--not realizing that the bus trip to the airport would take 85 minutes--and then had to be escorted to the gate because he was the last person to board, nearly missing his flight.
Sigh.
Last Monday, we were all set to drive Kris to the airport for his trip to Japan for an important robotics conference. Uncharacteristically, we were packed and ready to go on time. What could possibly go wrong?I hear Kris say "Ohhh #$*#&@." His passport was expired. Um, oops.
Panic ensued. We spent the next hour or so researching how to get an emergency passport renewal. We finally found an expediter in San Francisco. For $450, we could get it renewed by Tuesday night...and for another $300, we could re-book his trip for Wednesday morning, allowing him enough time to get to Japan for two out of three presentations. He emailed another professor and arranged to have her present his first presentation.
Crisis averted...for the low low cost of $750. At least Kris got to stick around for two more days.
You may wonder whether this was a fluke. But no. This is AFTER Kris had booked his flight to arrive a day later than he was supposed to arrive (because god forbid we check our itinerary before shelling out a grand for an international flight) and then having to re-book, costing $100. Kris tried to argue that I shouldn't be upset about the $100 re-booking fee, because the earlier flight was $100 cheaper, making the re-booking fee a wash. Nevermind that we would have SAVED $100 if he'd just booked it on the correct day to begin with.
And nevermind that I asked him a few months ago whether his passport was still good, to which he responded "OF COURSE. THEY'RE GOOD FOR LIKE, FOREVER." After he found out his passport was, indeed, actually expired, he looked at me (as if he were the voice of reason) and said "But seriously, who would ever think that their passport is expired? I mean, it happens so infrequently, why would anyone actually remember to check it?" I try to keep calm in these instances and not remind him how I asked him about it, or remind him that 99% of the universe does, in fact, check their passport when booking international travel.
Thank god we cancelled our trip to Canada! I would've been livid if we'd shown up at the airport only to be told that we couldn't go on our vacation.
To be fair, I knew what I was signing up for when I married the man. He can sometimes be absentminded, and this needs to be figured into our household budget. His absentmindedness costs us at least $1,000 a year, sometimes more. I made peace with it early on, so incidents like this don't bother me too much...anymore. But believe me, I used to lose it when he did stuff like this. Like the time he "didn't realize" he hadn't been paid any of his summer salary (who does not realize they haven't been paid for several months!?!?!), and by the time he asked about it, he could no longer be paid, because the grant funding had run out.
The best part? This is the THIRD time an international conference trip has resulted in semi-disaster. One year, before we were married, he was supposed to go to Japan for a conference. He asked me to call him two hours before his 1 p.m. flight to wake him up (because god forbid we have an alarm clock). I reminded him that he was supposed to be AT the airport two hours before his flight, and that he needed to pack and get himself to the airport, so I advised him to wake up at 9 a.m.
I called him at 9 a.m. and my call went straight to voicemail. Hmmm. Maybe he was in the shower. I called again fifteen minutes later. No answer. I sent him an email.
By 10 a.m. I was panicking and turned into a full-on stalker, calling every five minutes. Finally, at 11 a.m., I got a panicked return call from Kris. His phone had died and he had just woken up. I started yelling that he was supposed to be at the airport, when he informed me that he had actually already missed his flight...he mis-read the flight time; his flight had already left. So he re-booked the flight (at a cost of several hundreds of dollars) and got to Japan in the nick of time the next day.
I thought he'd learned his lesson for the following year's trip to a conference in Barcelona. He made his flight without a hitch. But after the conference--and a night of drinking absinthe--he managed to leave his passport at the hotel and arrive at the Barcelona airport without it. A thousand dollars was shelled out to re-book the missed flight, and stay in Barcelona for a few extra days because he couldn't find an earlier flight.
Kris wonders why I'm such a control freak, but I use these three stories as justification for why all household administrative matters MUST be routed through and planned by me.
Yesterday, Kris returned from Japan. And yes, I managed to keep my cool as he recounted how he temporarily lost his laptop power cord, causing his computer to completely die, leaving him without an opportunity to practice his presentation, and then found the cord just in time for his presentation, which went okay despite a massive hangover. I also gracefully refrained from raising my voice as he told me how he left his hotel a mere two hours before his return flight from Japan--not realizing that the bus trip to the airport would take 85 minutes--and then had to be escorted to the gate because he was the last person to board, nearly missing his flight.
Sigh.
I wish I could concur, but I'm with Kris on this one. I AM Kris. Andrew would be sympathetic to you though!!! Great blog!
Posted by
Mishy |
May 18, 2009 at 8:15 PM
OF COURSE, THEY"RE GOOD FOR LIKE, FOREVER!. I loled. I can hear those words coming out of his mouth right now. So typically Kris
Posted by
Anonymous |
May 19, 2009 at 8:12 AM
kris - you're an idiot
Posted by
rupachandra |
May 20, 2009 at 11:38 PM